About right and wrong
by Yuhi-san
Summary: Raphael never could stay back and watch how someone was dying or suffering. He just couldn't abandon the weak. But he also was a determined warrior, ready to kill whoever would try to hurt his family or friends. Unfortunately, this night Raphael has to choose which attitude of his is stronger.


**Authors Note: **Any one of you read the Archie Comics? Raph later befriends some Foot soldiers there. I read a few parts but in fact, didn't find it good. But I liked to write a story how it could come that Raph would befriend a guy from the foot. I enjoyed it, though they aren't really friends after all.

**Disclamer: **Of course, I do not own TMNT.

English is not my native language, so if you see any errors, please just tell me.

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Raphael was more the type for action and not for words. This, however, didn't mean he only could understand actions. He did understand words quite well and he sure as hell knew what master Splinter meant when he said that things could appear very different depending on how you would look at it. He knew what Splinter meant when he said a mind had to be balanced. He knew his mind wasn't balanced at all. And he knew it never would be. Because the two voices in his head would never stop to scream against each other in a volume that sometimes appeared to make his brains overload.

Right now, Raphael didn't hear any voices. It was just his body which moved on its very own. He never felt as light as then. Raphael kept running, his breathing heavy from exertion. The lights and sounds from the street flew past him as he run further. The alleys he jumped across seemed ridiculous small this night. He didn't stop, not feeling he could or should anytime soon. Raphael jumped down from a lower roof on a van almost without any sound.  
The alley was dark and the containers and the entrances to the warehouses gave many possible hideouts. Raph moved to a shadow between two containers and ducked there. He easily recovered his breath again. He wasn't running away per se. The whole thing had started at the pot and in fact, that was where Raph still was. They were playing some sick game of hide and seek with the Foot. He really despised it. But considering Mikeys injuries and the Foots backup on the way, they didn't have much of a choice.

Raph waited, collecting his thoughts. The worst part of the battle was over and most of the Footnins were down. They were retreading because of Mikey, but therefore they had to lose the reminding Foot. And that definitely before the backup would arrive.  
Raphael kept waiting with all his senses on highest alert. He couldn't see or hear anything. Slowly, he was sure that he managed to drop his followers. The red clad turtle relaxed, but only slightly. Silently he left his hideout and sneaked through the alleys until he would find a manhole to get town into the sewer again. Raphael reminded himself the whole time to focus and not think about how his youngest brother was doing. Another corner and he pressed himself against the wall, peered around it.

Nothing. Good.

But it was too early to let his guard down. So, like the ninja he was, he merged with the shadow of the building. It made him almost invisible. He also was absolutely silent as he kept sneaking to the next alley. Everything was alright. Until Raphael heard a strange sound. Strange, because his subconsciousness didn't register it as danger, but also not as common. Raphael crouched down behind some old vats. He scanned the docks with his eyes as best as he could with the bad light around him. But there wasn't anything out of order.  
But he heard the sound again. It was water splashing, but something about it was different. But the red clad turtle found himself unable to put a name on it. Shifting his weight more to the right, Raph increased the chances of being seen slightly for a better view.  
Still nothing but the uncertain noise.  
Raphael was about to move further, but somehow his feeling told him to wait just a few more seconds. He did. And there it was. A movement at the jetties. The turtle watched how someone latched himself up, out of the water on the cold ground. He was coughing hard and even from his position Raph could see that he was heavily shivering and barely found the strength to hold himself on his knees and hands.  
But something else made Raphaels blood run a little colder. He was dressed completely in black. A Foot soldier. Raph gritted his teeth. He should knock him out, so he couldn't be a danger any longer. Or even better he should push that guy back in the water and let him drown.  
He would never again be a danger to him, his family or friends, Raph thought.

It neither would be the first nor the last one he ever killed.

The Footnin moved and to Raphs great surprise and confusion, he took care of it himself. After the guy managed a shake stand, he turned back to the water and took a deep breath before he dived in again. Still behind the vats, the red clad turtle blinked multiple times, not eternally sure about what he just saw. For some reason this confused the hell out of him. Why did he do that? What was he exactly doing? He didn't look like he had much strength left so why was he doing whatever he was doing?

This was when it got dangerous for Raphael.

His rational voice kicked him mentally. He had to get back to the lair, needed to meet up with his brothers. He knew this but there was also this other, irrational voice whispering in the back of his mind. The voice that only responded to the things which happened right now and here.  
He needed to know what this guy was doing. With a mixed feeling of curiosity and doing the wrong thing, Raph found himself moving closer to the water. But he never let his guard down as he crouched down between some arks and peered down at the river. At the same moment the Foot broke through the surface again, struggling to catch his breath and trying hard to keep himself up. He had his mask off but Raph couldn't see his face since he had the back turned towards him. The Foot cursed between his caught and it took the watching turtle a few seconds to proceed that he was speaking Japanese. Because he missed to realize this from the very beginning, he didn't really understand what he said. He barely caught the Foots last sentence before he dived down again.

'Hold on brother'.

Raphael didn't move at all. These three little words made a tone of feelings and thoughts crash on him. The Foot was trying to get his brother. Raph took a deep breath. What was he doing here? He had to go back. But instate he crouched here and observed one of his enemies. A Footnin. One of these people which hunted them since such a long time now. One of those who tried to kill them over and over again. One of those whom gave them countless scars and wounds. Just like today's night.  
Maybe he was even the one who stabbed his dagger in Mikeys leg. Or the one who almost separated Donnies head from his body. He could even be the one who got Leo down, with his Naginata dangerously close to the blue clads throat.  
Raphael had stopped here with the intention to drown this person. To kill him. And he still wanted to do it. Kill the people who did this to them. They deserved it. His more rational voices insisting to do so grew louder. He should end that pathetic, cruel live.

But jet he didn't do anything.

Because his irrational voice kept whispering persistently. He was watching someone struggling for his life. And not only for his own. He sat here unmoving and watched how someone tried to save his brother and taking the risk of drowning himself because there was no strength left in him.

Suddenly, Raphael felt incredible sick.

It was the same unbearable illness hat overcame him when he saw one of his brothers getting injured and he wasn't sure if he could protect him and get him out save.  
The Foot came up again, struggling hard to keep himself on the surface. Judging by his condition, he had been diving a minute, at best. The Foot really was drowning, Raphael realized. His body was numb and powerless from the cold water and his exhaustion. He was dived down again, struggled to get up and every time he tried to breath he got more water in than air. Raph knew it couldn't have passed more than three minutes since he watched but to the hothead it felt like it had been hours. Far too long.  
The teenager moved quick and without thinking at all. He barely had braced himself for the icy cold that surrounded him the moment he dived down head first. The struggling Foot wasn't far and Raph reached him quick, violently grabbing his bicep. Raph was a good swimmer; in fact, he was the best among his brothers. So it was easy enough for him to swim the short way to the land on his back, dragging the Foot with him. The other ninja didn't fight him at all, obviously too exhaust and confused to do so. He was still completely dazed as Raph grabbed the ladder and pushed him roughly against it.  
"Ya better be able ta get up yerself", Raphael snorted but already pushing himself away from the ladder. He took a deep breath and then dived again. He would do it just once. That had to be enough.  
Raphael wasn't just a good swimmer, he also could hold his breath almost 15 minutes without trouble. If he didn't find the other guy until then he was done for it anyways.

Raph dived deeper and looked around, searching for a body somewhere. The water was blurry but his eyes adjusted well and he could see good enough to search for someone. There was nothing. So he kept swimming further. He wasn't worried about him running out of air. The only thing that concerned him was the too quick coming numbness. His head was pounding badly ever since he dived in the water. It was icy cold and it felt like countless small needles were pricing his skin everywhere.  
November was about to end. And even though they weren't exactly normal turtles the cold outside gave them a really hard time. Raphael got easier tired and lost feeling of his body after a while. So jumping in icy river water wasn't exactly the best idea he had lately. Raphs lungs were still perfectly fine while his skin felt like it was burning. He really didn't feel too good anymore.

Was he actually total nuts?

Something in the corner of his eyes caught his attention. It was black and Raphael recognized it was the other Foot down at the ground. Luckily the water here had a deep the red clad turtle could dive without too much effort. The water kept getting colder and it started to be really painful for Raph. It was weird how dizzy he actually felt as he reached the Foot. Worse was just how hard it was to coordinate his finger enough to take a knife from the guys weapon strip and cut it off. Free from the weight that mainly held him down the Foot already floated a bit upwards. Raph warped an arm around his waist and pressed him closer. He hurried swimming towards the surface, for both their sake. The numbness in his body was increasing frightening fast.

God, he _was_ nuts.

They surfaced and fresh air filled his lungs but not helping about the cold. Raph blinked the water from his eyes while he already turned to his back. There was another ladder close to them and he dragged the unconscious guy with him exactly the same way he had done with his brother. Finally, Raph got hold of the ladder behind him. He groaned, more from anger than anything else as he barely could feel his hand any longer. Not to mention how powerless he already felt. Cursing mentally he put the arm around the unconscious Foots chest and pulled himself up, hiving the guy along. He was by far too strong and tenacious as that a little cold water could take him down or anything. From the corner of his eyes he saw how the other Foot hurried towards them and helped Raph to get his brother up. When they had the unconscious guy finally up and on his back, the red clad turtle sunk down in a sitting position and rubbed his upper arms. He was shivering hard and was numb and stiff from the mere minutes he had been in the water. He hated the winter, he hated the cold and he hated being coldblooded.

And he hated that a small part of him still wanted to kill those two men while something caused him to keep sitting here and watch them, oddly hoping that this guy wouldn't have to watch his brother die.

Again Raphael shivered badly, as he observed how the Foot irrationally slapped his brother before he, with much more minds present, started the CPR. He did it very professional and the red clad turtle had to admit that he had, in fact, no idea how you exactly were doing it. Raphael kept waiting and again it felt like an eternally. Eventually, the unconscious guy gasped and started coughing hard. His brother turned him to his side and waited for him to calm down. Raphael could see how he finally relaxed as he turned his brother to his back again and watched how his breathing became steady. Raph shuddered again and suddenly realized how much he had tensed up himself until now.  
The hothead felt really unpleased in his current situation. He briefly wondered how he ended up here. Thinking about it straightly it was really wicked up. Raph stood up now, rubbing his arms again. He still felt numb and stiff but at least his legs no longer felt weak. Even though he should wish for these Foots death (which he still did of sorts) he felt like he could leaf only now that he was sure that both of them would live. Raph turned around and was about to go when he felt an intense gaze on his back. He turned half, starring at the Foot sitting on the ground. He held his gaze and for the first time Raph studied him closer.  
The Foot was older than he was, but probably not that much. Five or six years at best. His eyes were the same dark brown as Donnies and his gaze was insistent. He wasn't very tall but definitely well trained. There was a scar down from his temples to his cheek but it was mostly hidden under his messy raven hair.

Raph kept eye contact and waited for what the foot would do. He definitely wasn't the type to patiently wait for a reaction or anything. The thing just was, he wasn't sure what kind of reaction he actually _wanted_. The Foots gaze flickered a moment towards his brother, as he groaned something indistinct. However, he quickly faced Raph again with an unreadable expression.  
"You saved my brothers life. And, in fact, mine as well", he suddenly spoke, the japanese accent barely noticeable. His voice was raspy probably from water and coughing hard. "I Have no idea why you did this. I really can't imagine it at all. But to be fair, I don't care at all", the Foot said very straight. Raph raised an eyeridge. Then he saw how the Foots lips slightly twisted and he was sure that the guy gave him a smile. "I'm just very, very thankful. And really, I mean it." He sounded serious and honest, but he neither did bow his head nor did he say that he was in his dead, like a worrier as he actually was supposed to.

Raphael was unsure how he felt about that. It was somehow suspicious. Definitely. That's what his bitter, more realistic voice said. On the other hand it made it less forced, more like it was the truth and he really meant it. That's what his less rational voice said. The voice that maybe, but just maybe, was too soft. Suddenly, Raph feel his sanity kicking in again. He immediately got fully aware that he was here with two of their archenemies, that there were more of them which could catch him, that this guy simply could call for backup and that he would be in serious trouble then. And how could he stand here anyway? His baby brother was injured, he didn't know how he was and therefore he should damn hurry to get back to the lair! Feeling his head already aching from the all thoughts hitting on him, he just made a 'tsk' sound and turned on his heels.  
Seconds later the red clad turtle disappeared into the shadow, invisible and silent.

Finally, he made his way back as quick as possible. But it would take him a short while anyway and this at least gave him time to clear his thoughts and make up his mind. After this night, he didn't think it was exactly a good idea to tell his family about that little incident. He doubted they would understand his reason. Shell, _he_ didn't even understand his own reason. So he was left unsure of what to think or how to feel about it, let alone of what to do.  
Raphael could walk the sewer blindly and right now he was really glad about it. Because it seemed that he needed his full brain capacities to figure out what he should do. He really shouldn't tell his family. Master Splinter maybe wouldn't even be too upset. After all, he had just tried to do the right thing. He wasn't too sure about Donnie and Mikey, but he knew it would get him into fights with Leo. Alone for being so reckless. Against the others opinion, Raph didn't want to fight with his brother all the time. No, this little encounter would stay untold. Just like his adventure with the Tyler kid or his meeting with Mrs. Morrison. Yes, it was better to keep quiet about it, just telling them he had to deal with a few Foots before he could come back without being followed. After all, he had to figure out himself if what he did was wrong or right anyway.

Raphael didn't notice that he already reached the lair until now. When he entered the door, he found his whole family in the living area. Michelangelo was complaining loudly about the painkillers not working Donatello sat next to him on the couch, scolding him whenever he wanted to scratch his itching leg. Leonardo and Master Splinter stood close to them and even though they stopped talking when Raph entered, he knew that Splinter must have told Leo not to worry and just wait until his brother would come back.

He wished that his inner conflict finally would stop now. But it didn't. But at least Mikey was alright.

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**Authors Note:** First, yes, Raph does understand Japanese. He just rarely needs it. Second, there will be an sequel when he meets the Foot guy again.

And you know what? After I was done with the story I rewatched the episode "a better mousetrap". And guess what? They are _not_ coldblooded. They are warm on the thermographic camera. Nah, who cares?


End file.
